THE ANGEL LEE

-likeasatellite:

THIS GIF.

arthur can see merlin out of the corner of his eye;

he can’t carry him, can’t feel the dead weight of merlin in his arms. he couldn’t save him, couldn’t keep merlin alive and well and he doesn’t deserve the honour of carrying him back to camelot. he can’t think about their faces. gaius and gwen, the two people who look at merlin and really see him; like they know his thoughts and feelings, his secrets.

as they reach the gates, percival halts and turns to arthur. arthur steels himself and reaches out a gloved hand. he wants nothing more than to touch merlin’s hair, his face and his body with his hands but he doesn’t deserves that, either. he runs gloved fingers through merlin’s hair but the eyes don’t look back. there’s no smug smile, no sarcastic remark, no arthur instead of the deferent sire. there’s just endless nothing.

gaius will fix this; he has to, or arthur will tear the world apart looking for morgana and kill her himself.

OHMYGOSH I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO HANDLE THIS MOMENT